Born Naked

Someone wrote…

No matter what I wear, I still feel like I’m in drag.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on April 17th, 2011 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 14 comments »

14 Responses to “Born Naked”

  1. Lane

    I find I feel this way anytime I let people gender me as female. I only really feel out of drag when I’m open about being a man and asking for male pronouns, my preferred name etc. I recently had to quit a job because they wouldn’t let me identify as male at work, only go in more masculine clothing. They didn’t understand that being seen as female in masculine clothes feels as wrong as being seen as female in feminine clothes.


  2. silas delmar

    I said the exact same thing the other day. To ridiculously simplify- lipstick feels like I’m pretending to be a girl, ties make me feel like I’m pretendng to be a man. I am caught, entrenched, somewhere in the middle. Physically I’m feminine- no matter what I wear- but mentally and emotionally I identify as a man. It’s exhausting.


  3. Mike

    Me too…although sometimes that’s a good thing and sometimes it isn’t. On the days when it isn’t a happy thing, I’ve started thinking about when the new genderplayful marketplace will be up and running- I’m hoping it solves some of these problems!

    Today I’m in a skirt and feel like I’m playing a part and it’s a very fun thing, but I never wear make up, because I think that would make me feel weird and uncomfortable.


  4. Rich

    The way I see it, drag is the intentional performance of any gender.


    Elle replied:

    Bam! #1 answer,


  5. Clare

    my wife has never worn lippy or makeup in her life as she was part of the 80s generation of feminists for whom such things were a sign of oppression. If you decide to bother with them, its best to see how REAL women use them on a daily basis ie very sparingly. Its also a good idea, i think, to go and sit in a cafe for a morning with a pen and paper, and look at how real women dress.
    A lot of what you feel will be because of a culture with fairly rigid ideas on how the genders should appear, and thus i think will feel weird for a while. I think you have to work out how to make the clothes, and whatever makeup you use. really reflect how you are as a person – they should serve your inner identity. that’s the great thing about being Genderqueer – our identity really does shift and is fluid. All of us struggle with how we appear but that’s part and parcel of living in a proscriptive culture. Chin up – and love yourself, and your struggle to be real!


    Samson replied:

    Thumbs up. Just a thought, though–what’s a “real” woman?


    Stuart replied:



  6. Anonymous

    Lately I´ve started to look at everybody and pretend that they´re in drag. That feels very nice. When you come to think of it.. it´s just fabric anyway.

    Now, whatever I´m wearing it feels like I´m in drag.
    Since I do not look upon myself as neither woman nor man, maybe there´s no mystery behind it. In my case I´ve decided that as long as I feel gorgeous, shit the same.

    I hope you find a way that make you feel comfortable. Maybe it ain´t that bad to be caught in the middle. In fact “caught” might be the wrong word to use, maybe the right word is “released”.


  7. Samson

    “We’re born naked, and the rest is drag.” -RuPaul


  8. Clare

    Ah – my apologies for presuming that Sarah is definitely one side of the gender divide or the other. I had assumed that i was perhaps talking to a male having some issue with identity…however….
    No, its true that,at bottom, all gender appearance is a performance – of sorts. We may project all kinds of discontented feelings into a concern with how we look and how it makes us feel – that is oppressive. Its part and parcel of a society that rules through a market system. It holds the image of freedom, and choice, before us, and denies it in practice. The entire set-up is, to a certain degree – smoke and mirrors
    When i first began to dress, it was out of a sense of continuing stress – now my Genderqueer self is a political statement, and part of a wider attempt to be a freer person.
    Once again, apologies for any offense caused.


  9. G

    totally constantly eternally

    at least that’s how it feels for this non-gendered female


  10. Anonymous

    Recently in one of my gender and sexuality lessons (I know right awesome or what) I had this conversation with another female, since I was young put me in womans cloathing and I felt like I was in drag… so now I wear drag


  11. Adair

    No matter what I wear, I don’t feel like I’m in drag. Unless I’m attempting to look like I’m in drag, flamboyant showy stuff.

    I just get confused/frustrated when other people inevitably read my biological sex.


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