Right now
Lisa wrote…
I hate where I am right now.
I don’t identify as bisexual, but am strongly attracted to masculinity…not really male, but masculinity. Because binary ideas are nil with me (in fact, a turn off) I don’t identify as gay either.
I adore butch women, but they hate me because I guess I must repent for having had relations with men. I feel like I’m “ruined” in their eyes.
I just want loving people in my life, close to me, so I can share experiences with others and have that intimacy. I wish I were more of a “norm” sometimes so I had some place to go.
What’s your experience?
Posted by Freiya on October 20th, 2012 at 08:00 am
Category: your voice 10 comments »
October 20th, 2012 at 11:46 pm |
You could pretend to be a norm, for a while, but it can’t last and I don’t suggest it. You can try to be yourself and sometimes that doesn’t work either. We don’t always have a place to go.
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October 21st, 2012 at 12:47 am |
Hi Lisa,
As a non-binary, trans-masculine boi-person, I appreciation your appreciation :P I sometimes feel like noone will be attracted to me because I don’t see myself as butch even though I am quite masculine. And, you know, I don’t actually I’d as a lesbian, etc. etc. I think a lot of people I fall for don’t really understand the trans* spectrum which kinda sucks cuz we’re awesome :P
Alsoe, psshh don’t let anyone tell you what you should be ashamed of! X
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CJ replied:
October 21st, 2012 at 12:48 am
Ewww lots of typos. Phone typing-sorry!
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October 21st, 2012 at 9:07 am |
I too am attracted to masculinity. I’ve run into some troubles as well but know there are people out there who will accept and love you for who you are. Don’t compromise who you are to make others more comfortable.
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October 21st, 2012 at 11:11 am |
If someone actually gives a hoot about who you’ve slept with, then they’re not worth being with. It is pretty astonishing how much prejudice there still is in the queer community, despite having had so much prejudice aimed at us.
Many people are going to and do love you the exact way that you are. If you let yourself be attracted to people rather than types, then the right person will show up.
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October 22nd, 2012 at 10:23 am |
“I adore butch women, but they hate me because I guess I must repent for having had relations with men. I feel like I’m “ruined” in their eyes.”
I thought I was the only one with that problem… It’s one of the reasons it took me ages to come out of the closet, I was more afraid of the gay-community not accepting me than the rest of the world…
Thankfully I have found some accepting people and I have started not caring about idiots so much, although it can be painful at times…
In the end, I kinda figured that I don’t want to be with a person who doesn’t accept me anyway. I have never even been with a woman but I don’t care anymore, I don’t have to prove anything to anyone, I know what I like. I have the right to define myself the way I feel comfortable. I can’t force other to accept it but I think they should keep in mind it’s their personal opinions and they have no right imposing them on me no matter how many years they have been gay, they don’t own the title (in my opinion).
So yeah, it’s tough I guess, but you have every right to an identity as anyone else and to define your own identity!
Sending a friendly cyber-hug
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Aubri replied:
October 22nd, 2012 at 3:49 pm
“I have the right to define myself the way I feel comfortable.”
Right on!
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October 22nd, 2012 at 4:56 pm |
I love this so much. There is so much truth that rings in these statements. I’m right there with you <3
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October 23rd, 2012 at 11:27 am |
You just haven’t met the right butches/masculine women yet. We’re out there. All of the women I have dated have been bisexual or exclusively with men before me. They weren’t ruined at all. Just remember it isn’t about you, but their own fears about their masculinity/sexuality. Stop looking for a norm, be yourself and eventually you’ll start meeting the right people.
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October 29th, 2012 at 11:24 pm |
Honey, you’ve just not run into the right crowd of butches yet. I promise that you are not ruined, and I promise that there are so many butch women out there who would love you and accept you. There’s no shame in loving anyone. The queer community should realize that by now.
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