Question: What should I change my name to?

Kayla (for now) asks…

I’d really like to change my name. I have a very feminine name (Kayla) and when I (try to) present as anything other than female, I find the name kind of holds me back.

I’m not out yet to anyone and I’d like to have everything figured out (like what pronouns and name I feel the most comfortable with) before I come out to lessen the confusion. I’d like to use either a gender neutral name or a guys name.

If any of you could give any name suggestions that would be great. I already looked at a bunch of baby name websites and picked out a few, but I’m still not sure.

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on July 5th, 2014 at 08:00 am

Category: questions 13 comments »

13 Responses to “Question: What should I change my name to?”

  1. anta

    I don’t really have any suggestions for a permanent name, but couldn’t you call yourself just Kay for now? I’m not an English-speaker, but I expect that it could pass as a nickname.

    … though I really don’t know if it’s thought to be feminine or not. It’s just makes me think of the letter k.


  2. Aida Elias

    I also tought about Kay. Kai, actually. I had a male teacher named Kai. I believe it is a nice name, kind of neutral.


  3. Corax

    I had a similar feminine name and wasn’t happy with it. For quite a long time i used a more neutral nickname derived from it (like Kay in your case). It was easy for my family and friend to accept. But they still went with female pronouns. Now after changing to a permanent male name i face a lot more confusions. But people tend to accept easier, that i identify as male.
    If you still are figuring out, what you like and how you identify it it’s probably easier to choose Kay. If you prefere a new name, allow you enough time to choose. I made a list for me and then deleted every some days the names i liked the less till I had only one left.


  4. David

    How about Casey?


  5. N.

    You could just go by “K” until you figure out more neutral name. That way, you’d keep the nickname and just tack on some letters for formality. And it would buy you lots of time to figure out some K names that you adore and suit you. Aida’s suggestion’s great.


  6. Anonymous

    I reckon the letter ‘K’ sounds more gender neutral than ‘Kay’ but thats just my opinion. I also know a guy called ‘Kai’, I think its a good choice, also the word ‘Kai’ means food in Maori so thats cool :P If you wanna go super boyish go with something like Kaleb.


  7. anonymous

    Do you have a middle (or last? or just make one up?) initial that sounds good w/ K? Something like KC or KJ could be pretty gender-neutral.


  8. Joe

    I have had many problems with my name. Joleen. It’s super fem. I’m not. There is an old country song with it as part of the lyrics. Which I despise. Hi, I’m Joleen. Julie? Jolie? How do you spell that? Is it hyphenated? No, no, no, and no. I just go by Joe. Sooo much less hassle. So, I do agree with the others. K, Kay, even Kai. It definitely eliminates the ultra fem but floats in the middle,.


  9. x

    Guuuuuys!!! What would you suggest with the name Maia, my second name is Emily, so they’re both sososo feminine, i need a genderneutral name please:(!!!


    Harley replied:

    Perhaps Miles, Mica, or Emile? Or, playing off the end of Emily, you could try Lee. You also don’t have to work with the names you have-if you like a name that has nothing to do with the names Maia or Emily, you can use that.


  10. Baba O'Riley

    What’s the first letter of your last name / surname and how does that sound if you pair it with the “M”? As Anonymous mentionned above with regards to Maori culture, you could also check out the origins of your name and/its meanings in different languages, to see if anything resonates or gives you inspiration.


  11. Jordan

    How about kayle? It sounds kinda female but nobody would be suprised it you said it’s a guys name.


  12. Anonymous



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