Something missing

Someone wrote…

I’m a girl, and one which society would view as a “typical” (not my favourite choice of word) one. I like wearing pretty clothes, having my hair long, wearing make-up, etc. However, even more than that I have this burning wish to be a man.

To make this more complicated, I wish to be a man because I would LOVE to be a female drag-act, or something similar. I love the male voice, the possible fluctuation between male and female body, the confidence and sparkle that they may have. I also like dressing as a “typical” man, but as a short, curvy woman I can’t pull it off very well, and this irritates me. I’ve tried sparkle, deepening my voice, wigs… but it feels like I’m a fake, and I’ll never truly hit what I want. Yet, equally, I’ve accepted being a woman and I mostly like the way I am. For example, my friend is a female to male trans person, and I know that I’m not the same.

It’s very confusing and annoying if I think about it too much, and I tend to think about it a lot. I know it sounds like a joke, but it genuinely feels like something is missing. Anyone else have a similar story?

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on December 13th, 2014 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 3 comments »

3 Responses to “Something missing”

  1. Puck

    Yeah I get this. I’m not sure where I land, but it’s something like that. I don’t think it’s a joke (though I’m like, shouldn’t I just be happy as a girl, but nope you are who you are there’s nothing selfish about it). :). Go with what you love.


  2. white lines

    Have you heard of faux queens?


  3. m

    Yes. I get it. I am also a short curvy female assigned person who struggles with this. One day I realized I identified most asthetically with very femme queer men. But I cannot create this expression for myself. Also some days i do truely love this curvy body. I am coming to love that I am just very genderfluid amd must love myself through each contradicting moment of it.

    Also, have u heard of bio queens?


Leave a Reply

Can I show your picture? If you have a Gravatar associated with this email address, it will be displayed as your photo. If not, I'll just put a picture of a fork next to your comment. Everybody likes forks.

Be nice. Judgmental comments will be quietly deleted and blacklisted. There's plenty of room for those elsewhere on the web.

For legal reasons, you must be age 13 or older to post a comment on Genderfork.

You can use some HTML tags for formatting, e.g. <em>...</em> for emphasis (italics) or <strong>...</strong> for strong emphasis (bold) or <a href="http://(url)">...</a> for links.

Back to top