A Definitive Answer

Someone wrote…

I’ve just gotten into the LGBTQ community as an asexual, and recently I’ve been reading up on gender identities even more so. I think I’m cis, but at this point, I just don’t know.

More often than not I have this really strong urge to present as a genderless person. I want to look androgynous. At the same time, I also have days where I really wanna look like a dude, and then other days still where I really wanna look like a girl. But I don’t experience “dysphoria” and being referred to with female pronouns (the pronouns I was assigned at birth) doesn’t make me feel bad, and all the terminology of nonbinary genders are just making me confused as to whether I’m actually trans or if it’s just a fashion thing that I want to look like different things.

I just want a definitive answer that I’m definitely trans or I’m definitely cis, and it’s pretty clear that I’m probably not going to get that for at least a long while.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on May 3rd, 2015 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 4 comments »

4 Responses to “A Definitive Answer”

  1. Anonymous

    Hey friend! Yeah, gender’s pretty confusing, and I wish you the best of luck figuring things out.
    It sounds to me like you have a fluid gender presentation. Does your gender-your innate sense of self in terms of gender-shift along with your presentation? If that’s the case, you may want to look up genderfluid.


    Lazy Orang replied:

    As this guy said, if your inner sense of being changes along with your presentation, then I’d say you were genderfluid (which is what I am as well, though it’s primarily inner self with me and definitely skewed towards the feminine side – and, like you, I don’t feel dysphoria, so that’s definitely not a prerequisite :)). If not, then your fluid gender presentation probably makes you count as genderqueer in some way, but exactly how I’m not sure – what your inner self is is the key to this, but presentation is another facet. Good luck. :)


  2. Anonymous

    Maybe gederfluid


  3. Val

    I can relate – some of us don’t quite fit under any one umbrella and that’s cool


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