The Pieces
Someone wrote…
I’m 31 and just beginning to figure out who I am. I’ve been living as a woman my entire life but I’ve never been completely comfortable with that and only recently started to put the pieces together. I’m married to an awesome guy that I love so much, and he’s very open minded but I’m terrified that if it turns out I’m trans he won’t stay with me. I don’t know what to do.
What’s your experience?
Posted by Freiya on May 23rd, 2016 at 08:00 am
Category: your voice 2 comments »
May 26th, 2016 at 8:37 am |
I hear you, and I know that it can take time for family and friends to process their own feelings when someone comes out. But: you deserve all of the love and respect in the world no matter how you identify or present. You deserve to feel valid, and validated, and safe.
Sometimes an intimate partner can’t handle their own feelings about a change, and that’s on them. It can be so frightening to even entertain the idea that you might lose someone, even for something as important as being honest about your identity and what you need to feel at home in your own body. I think a lot of people stay closeted partly for that reason.
Whenever I’m worrying about this stuff, and I talk to my partner about it, I say something mean and self-critical like:
“I feel like I’m too weird. You shouldn’t have to deal with my weirdness.”
And he says something like:
“You are not too weird. I hope I haven’t said or done anything to make you feel that way.”
If your husband is as awesome as you say, then I hope he will come along for the ride as you continue to discover yourself.
xxoo
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May 29th, 2016 at 12:47 pm |
I feel like I could have written this quote myself. Only difference is that I’m 29 not 31.
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