Someone wrote…

Whenever I am in LGBT groups it’s just kind of expected that people will use the “right” pronouns for me, and they do, and it’s all great. But when I am out in public and somebody gets the pronoun thing “right” I almost feel like I’m getting away with something.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

You can call me… 7Kim

I identify as… a twilight dweller of the border forest.

But that’s not right, not at all. I don’t really “identify as” anything at all. I can describe myself as an “intersex chimera,” as “transsexual,” as “a submissive,” as “grey-asexual,” as “Catholic,”  as “a nurse’s aide,” as “a twilight dweller of the border forest” — and all these things are true — but I don’t feel these are labels of identity, just descriptors of various parts of my being.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … The ones in most common usage all boil down to something pronounced /tsee/, and the differences seem to be in spelling. I’ve always preferred “xie,” but your spelling may vary and it’s okay. I’m accustomed to female pronouns (I don’t care to spend my life educating everyone I meet, only the people who mean enough to me, and so I usually wear a female mask), so those are all right, but “xie” feels good when I can get it.

I’m attracted to… whoever inspires my limbic system to sit up and take notice, and THEN I work out what it was my limbic system liked.

When people talk about me, I want them to… discuss what’s relevant about me … how well I cook, what my opinions and outlook are, how lovely or miserable I look on this or that day, and so on. I want them to be as open about my gender as I am … but only if it’s relevant.

I want people to understand… That I don’t belong to anybody’s tribe; if I am not fully “one of us,” I am also not fully “one of them.” Understand this and we can meet as equals; reject this and I will be incomprehensible.

» Define yourself. «

Play that game again ! :p, originally uploaded by mithra3712.

Seattle’s Team Gina makes up with humor and wit what they lack in music production.

You can call me… Smith

I identify as… genderqueer, fat, butch, bear, kinky, fag, geeky, and a bicycle rider

As far as third-person pronouns go, … I go with female pronouns, but occasionally get male ones, and I’d be fine with “they”.

I’m attracted to… non-normative masculinities and queer femininities. I’ve happily dated primarily fag-identified transguys in the past little while, but I have a special place in my heart for high femmes and diesel femmes.

When people talk about me, I want them to… talk about whatever they want. I care deeply about my friends’ opinions of me, but everything else is just talk.

I want people to understand… that gender may be a social construct, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t impact our lives in a huge way. It’s all fine and well to say that you don’t believe in gender, but that does not change the way that non-normatively gendered people have to walk through the world. People who are questioning, disrupting, and redefining gender have my utmost respect.

About Smith
I live and work in Victoria, BC. I’m a failed academic, and a total math nerd. I live with my best friend and my 2 kitties, and we have so much fun.

» Define yourself. «

Boudoir L 01, originally uploaded by allanrye.

Someone wrote…

Today I was in the car with friends, and we saw three boys ride past on bicycles, shirtless. I commented that I wished girls could ride around like that on a sunny day. My male friend replied “I’m sure people wouldn’t mind!,” and I just thought to myself, “I wish you meant that the way I want you to mean it.”

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?