Anonymous asks…

What are some good ways to begin to explore my gender, not necessarily in terms of changing my wardrobe?

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Kyle asks…

Is it odd that the genderqueer woman in me has a bit of a crush on the genderqueer man?

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Riley asks…

My girlfriend is confused and frustrated that I don’t really like being called her girl or boy. Being gender fluid and rejecting normal pronouns is straining our relationship. Any suggestions?

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Andi asks…

How am I supposed to explain to a friend that I never wanted to date him but rather BE him? At times it can be too confusing to tell the difference between attraction as a partner or a role model. I don’t know how long I can handle the one-sided flirting.

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K asks…

I am going to be living in the Indian subcontinent and I was wondering if I wonder if I could declare myself as a sadhin. Does anybody know about the legalities etc. of this?

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A reader asks…

I’m going bald for charity in a few days and I’m currently looking for a job. Is it cowardly to be scared to death about looks from my future interviewers and employers? I want to do social work and work with people. Am I supposed to be afraid of being unemployed because my image would not suit the social norm?

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A reader asks…

Does anyone have a preferred gender-neutral honorific, à la “Sir” and “Ma’am”?

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Johnny asks…

How do I figure out if I really am trans like I believe myself to be? How do I take the plunge?

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Nox asks…

I am in what appears to be a gender-normative relationship. How do I balance my gender queerness and trans questioning with raising my son and trying not to confuse him. He is at the age where he’s noticing differences in girls and boys, and he sometimes applies them to my husband and me. His innocent statements about my doing stereotypical woman things hurt me more than if a stranger had said them. How can I tell my five-year-old son “mommy’s not really a girl” without screwing him up for life?

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Chase asks…

I want to tell my parents to stop calling me their son, but I don’t want to be their daughter, either. I could just be their “child,” but I don’t like how that word often implies being a certain age. What is a good gender-neutral word?

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Quince asks…

When do people really realize that they’re trans? Most of the people I’ve spoken to have known their whole lives. I’m sixteen, and I just now discovered my true self. I feel as if I’m faking it, or that I’m doing it wrong.

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Dax asks…

My mother is demanding that I shave my legs even though I told her firmly that I love my legs as they are. She was hurt and refused to talk to me for the rest of the night. I’m afraid of distancing myself from her because of my gender identity, but I also don’t want to change myself just to please her. Is there anyway to help her understand without pushing her away?

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Cydne asks…

I’m so afraid that if I become myself, the people I find attractive will not find me attractive. I wish everyone was pansexual, then my gender niche would be acceptable. How do I get the courage to change my body to be how I want it?

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McGee asks…

I’m in transition right now, and I’m planning to use male pronouns first year of college. But that means if I apply as female, I’ll end up as the only man in an all-girl dormitory, and if I apply as male, they’ll think I’m joking and my parents will be mad.

How can I transition as easily as possible, especially when it comes to checking that little box?

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Meike asks…

I’m in a college bell choir. The guys wear tuxes and the girls wear identical dresses. I’ve put up with my bell choir dress for two years now, and this year I won’t have to since I’m studying abroad for the year; however, when I return I want to wear a tux for my senior year. I was thinking of asking my director about this first, and while I don’t want to I might go to the college administration if my director doesn’t allow me to wear a tux.

Has anyone else gone through similar situations?

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Anonymous asks…

Some days I enjoy my body as it is, yet other times I can barely look at it in the mirror. How do you deal with your constantly changing feelings toward your body?

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Alexander asks…

How should I come out to my mum? She has made it clear that the one thing she will not accept from me is being trans. I need her to know, as it is affecting how my friends have to behave around her. Talking to her would lead to an argument, and she sees letters as evasive and sneaky. What should I do?

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A reader asks…

I first came out as gay, but as my gender identity became more apparent, I became more confused. I now identify as having no real gender role and my attraction is to men, but what does that make my sexuality? I am afraid of inadvertently insulting other people’s identities if I use their label. What is the best way to describe myself, and does it even matter if I can’t?

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Jesse asks…

I live in Alabama, and I feel isolated because I’m not like everyone else and no one wants to talk about gender. “Girls are girls and boys are boys.” What can I do about this?

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Tor asks…

I’m feeling ineffective dealing with trans ignorance. In my circles, GBL is apparently fine, but not T. I’ve tried patient, educational responses to ignorant remarks, but recently I was told to stop being pushy with my opinion as others are entitled to theirs. I’d like to help people to understand that their comments are as discriminatory and unacceptable as racist or homophobic ones. How?

Please post your response in the comments below.

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