All Posts by this Contributor


Question: How soon is too soon?


A reader asks…

 It’s been a year since I came out to my mother, and sixth months since my friends began referring to me by my chosen name and pronouns. I start college soon, and my first year I am really interested in changing my name and developing a treatment plan. But my family made it clear that they are not ready and consider these choices out of the question.

Should I be patient? Or should I really go after the things I want?

If waiting will ease their pain, I’ll try to do it – but if they’ll hate my decisions either way, why should I drag it out?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on October 30th, 2011 at 04:00 pm

questions | 10 comments »

Question: How can I be sure?


A reader asks…

I’m terrified that my gender confusion is a passing phase. Before I come out to anyone, how can I be sure that this is here to stay?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on October 24th, 2011 at 04:00 pm

questions | 21 comments »

Question: Disguising hips


Catcher asks…

I’ve been binding for about six months now and exercising everyday to loose excess body fat, tone up and get a more “boyish” figure. With the top half sorted, does anybody have any tips on disguising hips?

 

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on October 22nd, 2011 at 08:00 am

questions | 22 comments »

Question: I’d love to know how to say I love you


Kei asks…

My Mom and Dad tell me it’s just a phase, but it’s not. My best friends tolerate it, but they don’t understand.

How do you explain to the people you love the most in life that you’re not what they think you are?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on October 21st, 2011 at 04:00 pm

questions | 7 comments »

Question: How to cope?


A reader asks…

Sometimes I get very depressed that gender exists at all. It seems society is going in the right direction (what with more acceptance of genderqueer folks and whatnot), especially considering where we are in history, but it still really bothers me. Any suggestions about how I should deal with this?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on October 17th, 2011 at 04:00 pm

questions | 9 comments »

Question: Feminism and Androgyny


Tea asks…

How do I reconcile my passion for feminism and my desire to be genderqueer? I support smashing gender roles to pieces and expressing diversity, but I secretly worry I only want to be androgynous because of the daily disrespect and hurtful media messages I get as a woman.

If I identify as something other than a woman – if I were to tell people “I’m neither a man nor a woman, because those words really mean hyper-masculinity and hyper-femininity to me, which are equally harmful, confining and were invented as means of oppression” – am I a traitor to my cause? In saving myself am I abandoning women, or lighting a path?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on October 12th, 2011 at 04:00 pm

questions | 46 comments »

Question: The strength to abide


L asks…

Where do you get your strength from? The strength to just be you whoever that is day after day in spite of others’ attitudes, assumptions or attacks.

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on October 9th, 2011 at 04:00 pm

questions | 33 comments »

Question: College Roommate


A reader asks…

I am about to attend college and do not yet have a roommate assignment but when I do, I feel it would be at least courteous to inform them of my sexuality. I know that some people would feel uncomfortable in that kind of situation and I respect that. I just don’t know how to approach the subject in a non-alarming way. Any suggestions?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on October 5th, 2011 at 04:00 pm

questions | 11 comments »

Question: “Cross-dressing” yet passing


Dante asks…

Summer is here and while I’m ftm I would really like to wear a dress. Assigning gender to clothing is silly and dresses are comfortable when it’s hot out. At the same time though, I don’t want to be read as a girl. Has anyone tried to “pass” while also technically sort of cross-dressing?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on October 3rd, 2011 at 04:00 pm

questions | 8 comments »

Question: Who I Am


Cupcake asks…

I told someone I was genderqueer. She said that because I’m biologically female and usually dress like a girl, that I’m not even close to genderqueer. But I don’t feel like a girl. I feel like I don’t need anything between my legs to define me. What do you think?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on September 29th, 2011 at 04:00 pm

questions | 26 comments »

Question: Different Standards


Liam asks…

I can’t seem to understand why I am not okay with identifying as a woman. I love my female body, but in my head I am not a woman. I feel bad, guilty, and confused as to why the label of a man is so important to me. Wouldn’t it be better for me to stand-up for women an declare that my physical body has nothing to do with my behaviour, interests, and personality?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on September 26th, 2011 at 08:00 am

questions | 12 comments »

Question: How weird is it not to care about fashion?


Dar asks…

I see genderqueer people focusing a lot on clothing, make-up and style. But I’m not like that. I don’t care about how I look or what I wear – I dress entirely for comfort. Buzz cut, sports bra, polo shirt, plain black pants… How common are people like me?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on September 24th, 2011 at 04:00 pm

questions | 16 comments »

Question: Titles


A reader asks…

I’m about to start teaching in the fall. Any ideas for gender-neutral titles my students can call me? (Secondary school)

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on September 21st, 2011 at 04:00 pm

questions | 18 comments »

Question: the D word


A reader asks…

My partner and I have just found out that we’re pregnant. I’ve always wanted to be pregnant, but since I’m male bodied I thought this was impossible, but now that I’m here, I’m so overjoyed and content to be in a pregnant partnership, even if I’m not physically carrying our child. It feels like a beautiful affirmation of my femininity, and my masculinity (such as it is).

Problem is, lots of people are talking about how I’m becoming a “dad” now. Even though I understand their perspective, it upsets me. Am I being selfish, or overly concerned with semantics to be chafing at the “dad” word? What good alternatives are there?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on September 18th, 2011 at 08:00 am

questions | 13 comments »

Question: Coming out


Spencer asks…

How important is it to come out to your significant other’s family as trans?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on September 17th, 2011 at 04:00 pm

questions | 6 comments »

Question: Sideburns


KC asks…

I’m a genderqueer female. I’ve always wanted sideburns. How can I make it look like I have some?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on September 14th, 2011 at 04:00 pm

questions | 11 comments »

Question: Mom and Dad?


Tree asks…

I want to have kids one day, but I fight a constant internal battle about whether I’m going to be their mom or their dad. How would I effectively convey that I am a bit of both?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on July 16th, 2011 at 08:00 am

questions | 8 comments »

Question: Career difficulties


A reader asks…

I am in a situation where my career path makes it impossible for me to even consider hormone therapy or surgery. I can not leave my job for at least the next six years, and I do not really want to leave at all. How do people learn to cope with their physical bodies if they are unable to proceed with HRT or operations?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on July 7th, 2011 at 04:00 pm

questions | 21 comments »

Question: Small Town


A reader asks…

For pretty much all of my life I have thought I was a gay male, but then recently I’m realizing that I’d be happiest as a straight female. The only issue is I’m 16 and in a small town. I went to my doctor to ask about transitioning and my family knows too, but she was doubtful. I know I should be more sure of myself because every other trans person I know claims they’ve always known… Is this suppression and denial or just me being incorrect?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on July 4th, 2011 at 04:00 pm

questions | 14 comments »

Question: Gendering


Nix asks…

I’m generally good about thinking of people as their actual gender rather than their assigned one, up until the point that we start having sex. As soon as I’m interacting with a transperson’s genitalia, I start subconsciously gendering them as their assigned sex, and then get really frustrated with myself for doing so. I just feel guilty about it. Any advice on dealing with this?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on July 2nd, 2011 at 04:00 pm

questions | 8 comments »

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