Someone wrote…

Sometimes, all of this gets so frustrating. The reactions I receive, the misunderstandings and denial, the feeling of not knowing who is staring back at me with those big sad eyes in the mirror… At times, I feel it isn’t worth it.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Photo 539, originally uploaded by Boi Matelot.

A reader asks…

Being conventially feminine makes me incredibly uncomfortable, but I’m afraid that if I decide to act on my trans tendencies and present a more masculine face to the world, I won’t be able to keep my place in the acting community.

Most theater, the theater that I love, is so binary– the character is either male or female. There’s the occasional exception, but I can’t imagine being regularly cast if my gender expression doesn’t match my physical body. How many trans/genderqueer actors have made it out there?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «

no contrast, originally uploaded by what is l?ve?.

A reader recommends…

The Box Turtle Bulletin is a website that talks about various anti-gay laws and/or bills, etc. that are being passed world-wide. Personally, I like that fact that they publish word-for-word the proposed legislature, so you’re not just reading an opinion with a couple of quotes.

I think it’s important to know what’s up in the world, and this site promotes that sort of awareness.

» Recommend something. «

“Unabashed” submitted by Joey, the photographer.

From the Photographer: A picture of my transwoman friend with Down’s Syndrome, Jessica. She has given me permission to send in this photo to Genderfork.

, originally uploaded by Carol Stiler.

Someone wrote…

Sometimes I feel like a fraud because I didn’t grow up wanting to be a boy like other trans men did.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

You can call me… kitty. Or nothing at all.

I identify as… genderqueer, androgyne, agendered, polyamorous, pansexual, inhuman, invisible.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … everybody uses female pronouns, but each time it’s like a punch in the gut. I would prefer ey/em/eir, they/them/their, it/it/its, and I love the sound of xe/xem/xyr, but I don’t feel comfortable asking for them. My loved ones just call me kitty, and don’t use pronouns.

I’m attracted to… my husband and our boyfriend, and my girlfriend. Compassion, imagination, openmindedness, openheartedness, intelligence, self-awareness, and responsibility. Physically, it’s all over the board, though I have a special soft spot for androgynes, wide hips, flat chests, and anyone who is strong enough to pick me up. Anyone who makes me feel safe.

When people talk about me, I want them to… talk TO me instead. If they must talk ABOUT me, I would prefer it if my gender was left entirely out of the equation, and that they realize that my gender is none of their business.

I want people to understand… that gender is secondary to personhood. That it’s personal enough that it’s not safe to make assumptions. That good intentions don’t eclipse hurtful actions.

About Kitty
kitty is a nobody
kitty paints for a living
kitty likes cats, yes
kitty isn’t short for anything, stop asking
kitty likes you just as you are

» Define yourself. «

DSCF3600, originally uploaded by lanalovesit.

Tea asks…

If I’m identified as male, I’m “Mr. so-and-so.” If female, “Ms. so-and-so.” But I haven’t found anything that works well for people identified as neither. Any recommendations?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «

You can call me… Caitlin or Cal.

I identify as… A genderqueer biofem polyamourous lesbian gentleman.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … Most people use she/her, but “he” makes me giddy.

I’m attracted to… Androgynous ladybois, butch dykes, and the occasional nerdy quiet boy.

When people talk about me, I want them to… see that I’m not just another girl. That just because I have girl parts doesn’t mean I can’t be a fancy gentleman.

I want people to understand… that gender isn’t just boy/girl, part-based. That gender is fluid, and to respect how people want to be addressed when they are presenting as a different gender. Or as not having a gender.

About Caitlin
I’m 17, a cartoonist, and Olympia, WA is my hometown. I like music that not a lot of people have heard of, and my life’s dream is to backpack through France.

» Define yourself. «

“Binder” submitted by Nick, the photographer

Sidenote: The binder in the photo is an Underworks Tri-Top in Black, found on this page.

Someone wrote…

The train conductor looked at my I.D. and said, “So, you’re a girl trying to look like a guy?”

I don’t want to explain my whole gender so I tell him that’s true. He laughs. “Funny, I thought you were a guy trying to look like a girl.”

I smile. “That’s true also.”

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Mak recommends…

I’m sure many of you have heard of Frida Kahlo before, as she was a very influential Mexican painter, but did you know that she was also a genderforker? That’s her on the left in the family portrait above, in the suit with her hair pulled back. She alternated between very feminine and very masculine presentation and was fairly open about her bisexuality. One of her many self-portraits shows her in a suit, holding a pair of scissors, having just cut off most of her long hair. If you’re interested in learning more, this link goes to an online GLBTQ encyclopedia article about her. Also, you should try renting the 2002 film “Frida”; it’s a very artistic biographical film that deals very nicely with these aspects of Kahlo’s life.

» Recommend something. «

emo AD, originally uploaded by nacoki.

You can call me… Pistolita.

I identify as… butch.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … I don’t really understand this one. I guess I’m just someone else, as different as we all are. I can be loved for what’s inside of me or for what’s outside of me also. I’m the reflection of my feelings, I’m the reflection of desire. I’m happy being who I am.

I’m attracted to… femme women, but I also love to stare at beautiful, sensual people, I guess it’s the side of me, I love sexy bodies and personalities and don’t care about the “normal” concept of beauty.

When people talk about me, I want them to… respect me. Well, no, I want you to adore me, hahaha…

See? If I push you to do something it just doesn’t feel right!

I want people to understand… we all are different, and love comes in many shapes.

About Pistolita
When I was 3 years old, if someone asked my name I would answer: Jose Antonio. 3 years later, everyone should call me Pancho Pistolas, if they didn’t I would get mad and punch them in the face. Today everybody calls me Pistolita, and not because I asked for it. What a coincidence.

» Define yourself. «

AlixXx asks…

what do I say when my school tells me I can’t wear makeup?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «

Olga Petrova, 1915, originally uploaded by bobster855.

Someone wrote…

Asking me if I am a man is just politely inquiring if I have a penis.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?