ZZ asks…

Does anyone have tips for looking more masculine/androgynous for someone with feminine features? This androgyne is getting more than a little sick of looking so feminine all the time, and was hoping for some help.

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «

You can call me… Stefany, or Clark Gable.

I identify as… genderaloof. It’s like genderqueer, except that I (usually) try not to put too much intent behind my gender presentation. I put myself out there as-is and observe what kind of feedback I get. And then discard that feedback, because I don’t really care.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … the female ones are fine. Though whenever someone calls me “sir” (or “bud,” like talking to a 10-year-old boy), I just giggle a bit and don’t correct them.

I’m attracted to… smartypants girls who are sometimes boys. Tiny boys whose clothes I can fit. Queer punx on bikes. College professors.

When people talk about me, I want them to… have no idea what they’re talking about. That’s the aloofness I mentioned before. The second someone can sum me up in a nutshell, that’s the second I need to break out of that shell and find a new one.

I want people to understand… that they are the only ones who have control over who they are. Only *you* can define you. It sounds simple and obvious, but there are so many people who don’t practice it in real life. It took a long time for me to realize that, and it’s an ongoing battle. But I think (re)claiming control over yourself, over your identity, is the first step towards true satisfaction, or nirvana, or fulfillment — whatever you want to call it.

About Stefany
Why, hello there. I am a language geek, a guitar player, a frequent flier, a beer snob, astigmatic, a DIY enthusiast, and and always up for jabbing the status quo with a sharp, glittery stick.

» Define yourself. «

heartache, originally uploaded by roxy_diamond.

TC wrote…

When I wear dresses I’m always disappointed because I bought or made them thinking of how beautiful they’d look on my (imagined) male body but they look wrong hung up on my (actual) tits. I learned my femininity from gay men, from glitter faggots and punk rock drag queens. But when I wear those clothes, I’m just read as a woman in a dress. When I wear my normal stuff, I’m often read as male or as an androgynous dyke, both places I feel much more comfortable socially. So I’m a secret double-cross-dresser.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

.heather. recommends…

A new generation of Japanese men (and women) are breaking through gender constructs in a society where, until now, those roles have been strictly enforced.

“They simply enjoy what they like without prejudice. They are not limited by expectations.”

» Recommend something. «

We our own devils, originally uploaded by TristenKade.

You can call me… Matt

I identify as… A cissexual, genderqueer, femme (effeminate/fey/soft/flamey) gay man. I’ve identified as not-your-usual-cis-boy for some twelve years now, and have spent that time looking high and low for a community of like-minded gents.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … “He” is fine.

I’m attracted to… males of various kinds: cis men, trans men, butches, other femmes… but machismo, unchecked privilege, and other foolishness is out. Sex-positivity, open communication, intelligence, progressive politics on all fronts, and the ability to hold a decent conversation are definite pluses.

When people talk about me, I want them to… realize that “You’re not *that* femme!” and “But real men can do that too!” are not actually supportive comments. I’m pretty sure that whatever I am, it’s probably not a “real man,” and I have no particular interest in being reassured I am one.

I want people to understand… that femme men exist, that the fanatical hatred of non-masculine males in society (including in the LGBT community) has devastating consequences, that our struggle and that of all other queer and trans people is important, and that femme men are beautiful, worthy, and (in our particular way) strong.

About Matt
I am a 28-year-old Canadian translator and political geek. Queer-looking, queer-acting seeks same.

» Define yourself. «

ARM wrote…

I view my gender as a distinct shade of purple in which it is impossible to tell whether there is more blue or pink. It’s just purple and I love it.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Ofelia, originally uploaded by Diego Epstein.

You can call me… Jess

I identify as… genderqueer punk rock boi.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … I usually go with “she” for simplicity’s sake. Sometimes I get called “Sir” or asked, “What ARE you?” I don’t identify as male or female — but there’s no pronoun that really defines what I am.

I’m attracted to… genderqueers, butches, and bois.

When people talk about me, I want them to… comment on my awesome mohawk or boots. Not be intimidated because I look like a badass with tattoos. I am a real sweetheart who happens to be into punk. Not all punks are jerks.

I want people to understand… that the gender binary is a system of oppression. That there just isn’t two options of male/female but a rainbow of choices. Don’t be afraid or judge people because they look different — after all we are all human.

About Jess
Jess is 25 years old. She’s an artist and a writer currently working on her first screenplay. She’s a vegetarian, an atheist, a pacifist, a feminist, and an anarchist. She opposes all forms of oppression and hierarchy. She’s also into punk music, DIY, and mochas. She’s on a quest to find like-minded queer bois with her blog jessfive.wordpress.com. She’s very friendly and outgoing and is always interested in new friends. Feel free to contact her on her blog or at myspace.com/jessclub..

» Define yourself. «

David Paris, originally uploaded by therealdavidparis.

Argo asks…

Is there a gender-neutral equivalent to boyfriend or girlfriend? I am dating someone for the first time since I have been recognizing myself as a genderqueer boidyke, and “girlfriend” doesn’t fit. But “lover,” “significant other,” “partner,” and other politically correct words sound dry, or make it sound as if we are in a much more committed relationship than we are. Is there an alternative?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «

Taylor and bike, originally uploaded by gclarke.

You can call me… Syd/SYD/SyD or just Syd would be totally acceptable.

I identify as… Human (as opposed to cyborg or Saibot…heh heh…yes, I’m dorkydope!).. but really, I’m a Transguy.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … I prefer masculine pronouns. Sir, Mr., Gentleman, he, him, his…admittedly I feel a rush of happiness come over me when someone refers to me with a masculine pronoun on their own accord. There’s nothing like it! Pure joy. One of my “advisors” on FTM life told me that I should be patient with people who knew me prior to my transition and that if they still say “She, hers, etc.” I should try to be understanding of it but listen… I’m running out of patience. SORT. IT. OUT.

I’m attracted to… My wife ?

When people talk about me, I want them to… avoid being douchey (courtesy is a big deal for me) and I’d like for them to use tongue-twisters. I also want them to talk about the traits of myself that are not readily visible. It would also be great if they would pause for a moment, midthought, and smile because they remembered something I said or did that helped them feel good about themselves.

I want people to understand… that this my life homie, you decide yours.

I would also like for people to understand that there are a helluva lot of different people in this world, hell — living on their block! Try not to be so immediately afraid of what you don’t understand. If you learn about it, and still don’t like it, then I can respect you. I don’t do too well with suffering fools.

About Syd
Syd is a Saivite, a freelance artist specializing in dance (Hip hop, Modern, Jazz), is a former drag king (but since he dresses with masculinity all the time… it’s not drag for him), a man devoted to his woman, and a good friend. He’s kinda funny sometimes too… depending on who you ask. He also likes to refer to himself in the third person. Solid!

» Define yourself. «

You can call me… Alix, Al

I identify as… genderqueer, activist, transfag/dyke, pancurious, lover, kinky, queer, content, atheist, genderfucked.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … male, for the most part, though I’m okay with gender-neutral. Just please, stop calling me “she.” I really like the intersection between wearing a dress and still being “him” or “he” — to say that what I’m wearing has no impact on my actual gender. If you really can’t figure it out, just “Alix” is fine.

I’m attracted to… androgyny, humour, creativity, my lover. Pretty boys and handsome girls, people who fall in between. Attractive people. Anyone who can make me think about things in a way that I haven’t before, or question my own assumptions.

When people talk about me, I want them to… realize that I’m not confused, mentally ill, suffering from a medical condition, or otherwise disabled. Stop pitying me; everything over here is completely fine. Other than that, I want them to talk about how completely awesome I am. Because I am.

I want people to understand… that I am more than capable of making my own decisions about my own body without their input. That gender is fluid. That I’m happy.

About Alix
Alix is 22, a writer/poet/zinester and a student. He is currently struggling with the medical establishment in order to get access to T without undergoing any surgery.

» Define yourself. «

Tranny, originally uploaded by dapper_danger.

ellis recommends…

Adhamh Roland is a guitar-strummin’, accordion-squeezing, whistling warbler who fancies reminiscing about the midwest while devising collective strategies for liberation. Adhamh is a founding member of the Riot Folk Collective, and has toured and created with Benchpress Burlesque (St. Louis’ radical multi-gendered, sex-positive, queer-positive, feminist feast of political performance art), The Tranny Roadshow, as well as many bicycle tours totaling over 3,500 miles of pedal-powered folk shows.

» Recommend something. «

You can call me… Jake

I identify as… a vegan, genderqueer, female-bodied (for now) male (but not a man).

As far as third-person pronouns go, … masculine are fine, but if you are able to successfully use non-gendered pronouns, yay for everyone!

I’m attracted to… dilated pupils, caught glances, secret smiles, fleeting touches, mysterious personalities and ambiguous genders.

When people talk about me, I want them to… say that I am freakin’ awesome! And maybe educate people about trans and genderqueer issues.

I want people to understand… that I don’t do the things I do to offend or confuse them. I am just trying to be comfortable in my own skin, and want to leave a positive, rather than negative, trace on the earth.

About Jake
I am constantly questioning myself and re-evaluating my world view. I will eventually complete at least one of the following majors/degrees: Anthropology, Australian Indigenous Studies, Biological Anthropology, Human Biology, Sustainable Development, Technical Music Production. Music is my first love, and just like with gender, diet, and studies, I am unable to choose one instrument and stick to it.

» Define yourself. «

Yes, yes, I know, you’ve been nudging me for this for OVER A YEAR! Well, we finally built it. I present to you with…

*drum roll please*

The Official Genderfork Photo Submission Form

*happy dance!!!!*

We’re also including the option for you to add a description to the photo, so readers will know what you especially want them to pay attention to.

Special thanks to Photo Curator Adisson who’ll be taking the reins on this one.

And thank you all for your amazing contributions, everyone!

Lots of love,
Sarah Dopp
Founder/Director of Genderfork

stella at tank, originally uploaded by bikerides.