Someone wrote…

The trouble with being attracted to someone who isn’t thrilled with their body is the feeling that your enthusiasm for their body could be viewed poorly.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Someone wrote…

Being in a relationship with another genderqueer is so fulfilling. We can be whatever or whoever we want to be. We switch our roles with such fluidity. I’m the girl, I’m the boy. They are the girl, then they are the boy. One thing that stands out though, is that we’ll always be us. Together.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Someone wrote…

I was asked how I identify for the first time ever. I had dreamed about that moment for years.

And I had no answer.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Someone wrote…

No matter what I wear, I still feel like I’m in drag.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Someone wrote…

The other week I had to meet my mother at work, and she gave me her car keys so I could wait for her in the car. She told security, “Don’t worry if you see a girl getting into my car, it’s my daughter.” She went to leave, then turned and said, “Don’t worry if you see a boy getting in my car, it’s my daughter”. I felt so much love for her when she told me.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Someone wrote…

When I came out to my therapist as a genderqueeer/trans* person (later changed that to “agendered”) she replied with encouragement, saying “I’m a middle person, too, so don’t worry.”

This isn’t a gender therapist, either. So happy.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Hey Everyone,

Thank you so much for all your support for the Genderplayful Marketplace idea. We’ve launched the fundraiser, and already raised $2400 in the first week (plus $335 for the PayPal Haters Fund) from a combined total of 91 backers.

*pause* Did you get that? If you’re skimming, take a second to go read that last line again. None of those numbers are typos. This. Is. Real.

For those who are hearing about this for the first time, here’s the spiel:

What’s the Genderplayful Marketplace?

Genderplayful is a plan for an online clothing marketplace that celebrates diversity in gender presentation and body types. This is for anyone who can’t easily find what they’re looking for in a typical clothing store, with special support for androgynous, unisex, butch, dapper, femme, gender-bending, gender-transgressive, and gender-fanflippingtastic clothing solutions for all kinds of bodies.

Genderplayful cares about custom solutions, and the marketplace will host a lively community that finds and creates those solutions together. Vendors will include indie designers, crafters, clothing makers, tailors, and people selling things from their closets and local thrift stores. Community members will pool notes on what they’re excited about, and vendors will take cues from buyers on what to create more of. The goal is to create a culture-rich gorgeous Internet bazaar for the playful, the exquisite, and the just trying to get dressed in the morning.

About the Fundraiser

If Genderplayful can raise $5,000 in community funding by January 15, 2011, founder Sarah Dopp will commit to making the project a reality. Anything above that baseline number will go toward making the project happen faster and better. (Really, she needs more like $50,000, but she’d rather do it cheaply than wait to do it perfectly.) All financial backers will receive perks based on their contribution level.

Wanna donate?

You can do that right here:

And please spread the word! The more supporters we can rally early on, the stronger this community project will be. The main event is taking place over here: http://genderplayful.tumblr.com

Thank you so much for all your support everybody!

So much love,
Sarah Dopp
founder of Genderfork.com and the Genderplayful Marketplace

Update! We’re over here now: http://genderplayful.tumblr.com

~~~

Hello Gorgeous Genderforkers!

This is Sarah Dopp, your humble Genderfork founder, and I want to run an idea by you.

I’d like to start a new project: a genderplayful, body-positive, fashion-savvy online marketplace. This would be a space where people sell to each other (like Ebay and Etsy), with a focused emphasis on solving all of our wardrobe problems. Together.

We’d pull in a mix of indie clothing designers, body-savvy tailors for custom alterations, small business clothing shops, crafters, and folks who want to share things from their closet. All with a celebratory and problem-solving emphasis on creating clothes that fit our genders, styles, and bodies.

Allow me to elaborate on this (while naked):

Sounding like a good idea so far? Do you want it? Do your toes start tingling when you think about this, like mine are right now?

If so, then here’s how this can play out. I have the management, web development, and community-building skills to make this happen. What I don’t have yet are the time or the money (well, really just the money, since money buys time). But I have a plan to get them: a public fundraiser, plus a loan from my family.

The key to securing those funds is being able to prove that this project is important. That’s where I need your help.

If you want this project to happen, there are three powerful, important, super-helpful things you can do right now to push it forward:

1) Make a video of yourself telling a camera why this is so important. This will have a HUGE impact on the public fundraising. If I can edit together a collage video showing many people asking for this, you know it will hit home. (More info on how to get your video to me is over here.)

2) Write out why this matters to you. Explain it to the outside world: why does this need to happen? You can leave it as a comment below, or send it in an email to genderplayful@gmail.com, and I will use your stories to make a stronger case for the project.

3) Get someone else to help. If you know someone who is comfortable in front of a camera, please personally appeal to them to make a short video for this. If you have a blog and you know your readers would love this project, please ask them to step up and share their stories. If you have a friend who absolutely needs this to happen, make sure they know it’s in the works, and how they can help.

I’m seriously excited about this. I’ve been working on the plan for a year, and it’s time to swing it into motion. But it (really, seriously) won’t happen unless I can prove that you need it, so it’s time to get noisy about the idea. Let’s show ’em all how it is.

Thank you so much for all your support.

Lots of love,
Sarah

p.s. The Genderfork staff and I have agreed that this should be a separate project from Genderfork. Genderfork will stay the same.

Hey Everyone,

So, this is kinda awkward.

Someone recently contacted us via one of our submission forms, asking that we not run their profile.

Problem is, all they gave us was their first name (it started with “F”), and we have several profiles in our submission pile under that first name. It wouldn’t really be fair to remove them all because those other people still want to show up on the site.

So… to the person who recently made that request: can you contact us again? This time, give us some more identifying info about your profile, so we can figure out which one was yours? If you included an email address, that would help, too.

We totally want to respect your privacy and remove it from the submission piles. We just need a little more help.

Thanks!

~Sarah

Hey Everyone,

Someone we’ve been referring to as “omggeek” has been curating the submitted photos lately. We think it’s high time you met this new volunteer more properly! Introducing…

Riley\Lee
Submitted Photos Curator

And the rest of the cute-as-heck volunteers, as usual, can be enjoyed on our Staff Page.

Let’s talk about how awesome you are.

Yesterday I offered up the Facebook “like” button — a way of showing that you like a post without needing to leave a comment. Then, responding to some associated suggestions, I offered a thumbs-up feature for comments, to let you show when you like them, too. That feature came bundled with a thumbs-down feature, and I asked if that might be useful for letting you guys give “hey, that wasn’t cool” feedback on comments when you feel the need. After some conversations, I added in a way to create threaded replies to comments, so you can respond to them directly. Then I asked you all to vote on which ones to keep. It all happened quickly, and if you missed it, I apologize — you can still weigh in. But here’s what happened:

You UNANIMOUSLY rejected the “thumbs down” button. That was a firm, undeniable, “HELL NO.” You don’t want a tool that has the potential to create drama and bad feelings.

And you had mixed feelings about the comment and post “like” buttons. On one hand, it’s nice to be able to show support. On the other hand, vote counts can be used as part of a popularity game, and that smells a bit icky. And you don’t want people to feel encouraged to comment less — you love reading the comments here. Also? Looking more like facebook? Not so great.

BUT! You do pretty much love the ability to reply to comments directly, and that gives you a way to support great comments that you didn’t have before. So loud and clear: that feature stays.  The rest… well, it’s probably better if the rest go.

So the verdict is in. Genderfork says NO to drama. And for that, I am wildly in love with you. Thank you.

I’ll leave you with some of my favorite quotes from the discussion:

When the comments rating was first mentioned I thought it might be a good idea (and I still see its merits), but in practice I’m not happy with it — it makes the site feel a bit like all those “who’s the best, who’s at the top, let’s have lots of rankings and rate and number everything” and takes away from the feel of personality[? not sure if that’s the word] and hospitality; maybe that’s just me tho?
– tigr

I much agree! I feel as though the like/dislike feature has the potential to unwittingly become a popularity contest of sorts.

If threading stays, however, it’d be easy to reply with a quick “So do I!” or “I feel the same way!” instead of the little thumbs up/thumbs down that can be interpreted any number of ways and may alienate some of genderforkers. That would eliminate like/dislike and tidy up the comments, making the conversations within them more coherent.
-Dorian

I don’t like the idea of any sort of “thumbs down” or “dislike” button becuase one of the things I value so much about Genderfork is how positive we are able to stay.
-Avery

no dislike button. it will create hate, drama, and overall negative feelings in an overall supportive community
-mEEsh

I just have to say, I’m really not loving this. I really enjoyed the simplicity of Genderfork, and it was my get away from my Facebook/non accepting people.
– anonymous

Hhmmmm, i really like the threaded comments, it adds something to the comments that is beneficial to the flow of conversation. But the thumbs up/thumbs down, in my mind doesn’t. I also love the fact that genderfork isn’t negative, and having the option for thumbs down-ing something just doesn’t seem right for here…..
– freiya

“I feel like I should say that Genderfork is the ONLY place on the wider internet (i.e. besides blogs of friends) where I seek out & enjoy reading the comments. everywhere else, I inevitably regret reading comments… it just makes me feel gross & debased, and lose more faith in my fellow humans. Here, the comments are half to two-thirds of what make the site awesome.

In other words, you all rule!”
– jean c.

It’s true. You totally do.

Thanks and love,
Sarah Dopp

founder of genderfork

Hey Everyone,

You can probably see that a facebook “like” button just showed up on all our posts (at least, if you’re viewing at http://www.genderfork.com directly, it did). People have asked for ways to show they like something without having to leave a full comment. Facebook’s solution is kinda interesting because it lets you see which of your friends have liked it, but doesn’t show the identities of people who aren’t your friends on Facebook.

So… keep it or kill it? Do you like the Facebook solution? Or is just adding clutter?

Tell me below.

Thanks!

Sarah

p.s. if you’re looking to expand your facebook-based genderforkian community, try chiming in on the conversations over here: http://www.facebook.com/genderfork

EDIT: We’re ALSO now talking about a like/dislike rating system on comments now. See comment discussion on this post for more details.

POLL TIME!: Weigh in with your votes below, here:

[Image source: Whitezine]

Hey Everyone! I want to introduce you to two new folks who’ve been rockin’ out behind the scenes over here.

Alice is proofreading our posts now, helping us stay a little bit more error-free. She’s also taken over the “Questions” submissions, and is doing a great job with them.

And Mars is managing a WHOLE NEW THING!  Yes, that’s right: WE ARE NOW ON TUMBLR!!! If you live in the tumblr universe, we hope you appreciate our new feed (complete with sexy reblogging from the rest of your sexy tumblrs) over here: Genderforkd.

But first, let’s meet the volunteers:

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Alice

Questions Curator and Proofreader

Alice is a 21 year old XY person from England who spends most of her time using devising investigations into the neurochemical nature of gender. When not buried under books she can be found haunting the more trendy parts of London. Some of her work can be found here.

Alice has been blogging these submissions from our “Ask” form, as well as keeping the rest of our posts (mostly) error-free.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Mars
Tumblr Curator

Mars is a Canadian high-school student who tends to go through many rapid name-changes. Ze loves food (but not bananas), photography, books, film, indie music, and though ze is currently much too uncoordinated to figure it out, would one day love to learn how to ride a bicycle. You can easily contact Mars at life-onmars at live dot com, and if you can quote Spring Awakening or anything written by Chuck Palahniuk, you’ll be an instant friend.

Mars has been reblogging like crazy over at our Tumblr feed.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(As usual, you can see our whole beautiful staff over here.)

Say hi!!

Hey Everyone,

This is a special PSA to let everyone know that the Gender Spectrum Family Conference is a very important, special conference developed for families of gender variant children and teens (including the kids themselves). It will be held September 3-6th in the SF Bay Area this year.

I attended last year, and was very moved — especially by the strength and commitment of the parents to learn about and support their children. This year I’ll be assisting with the kids camp. (We have some really fun stuff planned.)

The conference is held by the same org that put out The Transgender Child: A Handbook for Families and Professionals. They’re also the conference that was featured on NPR (This American Life) last year — you know, the bring-you-to-tears story of two trans young girls that we ran on our site.

So if you or someone you know belongs at this conference (trans and genderqueer teens — this is for you and your parents!), please do the registration thing now. Like, now now. Right now.

Please. This conference is life-changing.

Love,
Sarah Dopp
founder of Genderfork

Hey everyone,

I’ve got a few talks coming up (one’s at Oberlin College this Wednesday — 4pm, Wilder 101 — poke me for more details) in which I plan on reading a series of posts from Genderfork. But jeez — can you imagine someone in my shoes trying to pick out what to read? It’s like choosing your favorite ten children when you have 3,000 of them.

Help me out? Tell me which posts on Genderfork that have been the most powerful and heart-rocking for you. What does the world need to hear the loudest from us, from a microphone?

Leave comments, quotes, links, tweets, and love letters below.

Thank you so much,
Sarah Dopp
founder of Genderfork

p.s. Favorite photos are welcome too. I can’t use those in this week’s talk, but I think maybe I can in the next one that’s brewing.

Maybe you’ve noticed that our little underground blog has been starting to burst at the seams — we sure as hell have. There are a lot of you! About 1200 of you a day! (Hi! We’re so glad you’re here!)

And you can imagine what our submission piles look like right now. Again, we’re sorry if you’ve sent us stuff and haven’t seen it published. But having been listening to you quite a bit, I’m also learning that getting published, most of the time, isn’t really the point. The point is self-expression, identity exploration, and finding support.

We think our daily publication is awesome as-is, and we don’t want to mess with it. But we also want to give you a better way to talk to each other, because all this connecting is really freaking important. So our plan is to build a community forum (aka a message board) — separate from the blog but still at Genderfork.com — for open discussion.

If you’ve ever been an active member of an internet forum, you know that this is a pretty significant undertaking. There’s a lot to consider around what we want to encourage and what we want to discourage. We want your input on those decisions.

So! If you want us to create a Genderfork Forum, and you’d like to help us decide how it would be most awesome, please sign up for this discussion list:

We’d really love your help.

What will happen next…

We’re going to wait until early next week before we start this discussion, so that more people will have time to get on the list first.  This means that after you join, nothing will happen for a few days (and if you try to talk, the system won’t let you).  Just sit tight — we’ll send out a discussion kick-off email when we think it’s time to start.

Then… once we’re talking, we’ll collaboratively pin down things like:

– What should the discussion categories be in the forum?
– What are our moderation guidelines?

And a bunch of other stuff.

And when we’re ready to create the forums, the people on this discussion list will be invited as the first members.  Your job will be to just start talking, and to set the tone for everyone else.

Want in? Just sign up above.

Thanks and love,
Sarah Dopp
Founder of Genderfork

So, I’m drinkin’ my coffee this morning, and the first thing the Internet says to me is, “Hey Sarah! Come and take a look at THIS!”

The artists write…

Some friends and I are taking Intro to Queer Studies this term, and one assignment was a group presentation on a queer cultural production (magazine, anthology, art exhibit, etc.). We researched and presented Genderfork.com, which is a really awesome online community that explores androgyny and gender ambiguity. As a creative component to the project, we took our own gender-ambiguous photos. It may be interesting to note that although I am a gay-male-identified, biologically-born male, my gender is much more ambiguous with fake facial hair than it would be if I were to wear a dress. In a dress, I would be fairly obviously male, but if I go for the “bro” look, I could pass as a female in drag. Anyway, I definitely encourage you to check out Genderfork if you haven’t already!

Thanks, guys! This is fabulous! Tell your professor that we give you all an A!

Love,
Sarah Dopp
founder of Genderfork

Yeah… I know… The FAQs were more than a year out of date.

But that’s all better now. Here you go!

Enjoy!

Love,
Sarah Dopp
(your friendly site founder)

There is an AMAZING art show happening in San Francisco right now. It’s on the third floor of the LGBT Center, and will be running until March 6th. After that, it will be traveling elsewhere (keep an eye on their site to find out where).  Genderfork sponsored a creative, interactive piece that’s part of it.

By “creative and interactive,” I mean we built a slot machine. For gender and sexuality. Sort of. I can’t explain it, but it’s awesome, so I’m gonna try to show it to you…

So here is me, your friendly site founder Sarah Dopp, attempting to Show! You! It! on video…

The show is produced by the Undermining Acceptable Violence Collective, and opening night was a benefit for the Transgender Economic Empowerment Initiative. Both of these organizations are my on Complete and Utter Adoration List, so please go learn more about them!

tons of love,
Sarah

Dear Genderforkers,

You make me so stupendously happy.

Just wanted to tell you that.

Love,
Sarah Dopp